Wild Dingo

Have you found yourself weighed down with thoughtless, unappreciative individuals with no social graces? Ever notice how much time and energy ridiculous people drain from you? Would you like to instantly feel 10 pounds lighter?

Wild Dingo’s diet “Zero Tolerance for Nitwits” may be just the diet for you. Inspired by the founder of Wild Dingo, Maggie, who simply never accepted disrespectful, impolite behavior, this simple, two-step diet costs nothing and doesn’t even involve cutting out any of your favorite foods!

Here are the steps:

1. Make a list of ridiculousness that you refuse to entertain.
2. Cut loose any person or thing that falls within that list.

“Cut loose” can be applied permanently or temporarily. For example, “I have to get off the phone now, the dingo just ate a baby,” is a great example of temporarily cutting loose a ridiculous person on the other end of the phone. It’s perfect for telemarketers or nagging in-laws. Of course it helps if you have a dingo. “Burning pot roast” works just as well as “baby-eating dingo.” You get the idea.

Try it! Don’t be surprised if you find yourself instantly 10 pounds lighter and find the world a brighter place.

And don’t be afraid to use that “delete” key for those pestering your inbox. Don’t reply to a ludicrous request. Just hit “delete.” You may even lose an extra pound since you had to burn some calories hitting the key.

Here are a few on the short list of Wild Dingo’s ridiculousness:

1. People who don’t have the grace to recognize generosity. Can’t figure out how to say “thank you?” Read this book  and get back to me.
2. Adults with the social etiquette of a nitwit. See above.
3. Business owners who ask my advice on how to build a web site for free. Hint: Go to the grocery store. Ask the manager how you can get that carton of milk for free.
4. Business owners who ask me to build complex web sites for cheap. You don’t have the time to build your 10,000 product e-commerce web site and only have $200? Well then, I’ll be happy to schedule that for you. Do you have some time between never and a cold day in hell?

Whenever I find myself confronted with poor manners or ridiculousness (it seems I’m a magnet for the ridiculous), I just ask myself, “what would the dingo do?” And darn, if the answer isn’t as clear as a bell. That dingo still haunts me with daily affirmations to keep me blissful.

If you ever find yourself on the other end of my Zero Tolerance for Nitwits diet, don’t blame me. Blame the dingo. I learned everything from her.