Wild Dingo

I started riding again a few months ago. Then I adopted this Tasmanian devil. He really cramps my riding style. Spending hours of my time exercising and running him makes me much too tired to ride. So I haven’t ridden in two weeks. But I’ve been planning this social girls’ ride for a few months now and it’s this weekend. And these are girls I used to train, ride and race with, who are still racing. So now I’m a little concerned about this “social ride.” But here’s what I did to get ready.

This past Saturday, I rode 10 miles at a 7 mph pace. On Sunday I rode a 30 mile hilly ride. Now this week I’m tapering but I did another hilly ride today. And my Super Ego and Ego had an interesting conversation during the ride.

Super Ego: Remember when you used to train for things like 24-hour races, 3-day stage races and long snowy mountain bike races? Remember all the pain and suffering you endured spending hundreds of hours and miles on the bike each month?

Ego: Ya, what was I thinking? Training for a 35-mile social ride is so much more reasonable than those whacky races I used to do week after week.

Super Ego: What the hell ARE you thinking? Have you gone soft? Who “trains” for a 35-mile social ride? What kind of cry baby are you?

Ego: Well, sure, my tush and thighs are a bit soft, but you know our priorities have changed. We have a house that needs work and a ridiculous dog that needs a lot of behavior work and exercise. Besides, look at me, I haven’t ridden in weeks and here I am, riding tons of hills. I think I’m doing ok!

Super Ego: What kind of crazy are you? Who celebrates the mundane? Scott would roll his eyes if he heard you congratulate yourself on such a ridiculous achievement.

Ego: Ya, well, I’m not really sure he appreciates me for my disabilities.

Super Ego: And just what are those disabilities? You have 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, you can pedal a bike. I’m having trouble understanding your “disabilities.” Help me out here.

Ego: Well you know, I’m…wee.

Super Ego: You’re embarrassing me. Ok, this is the game plan. We’re going to go with the “I donated a kidney last week” excuse. And add, “My doctor didn’t actually give me the go-ahead to ride, but I don’t flake so I’m out here on our planned ride anyway. So this is why I’m so slow.” It will help if you add a few moans of pain here and there.

Ego: But what if they want to see the surgical wounds?

Super Ego: I hear there’s a really good tattoo shop in Santa Cruz. You could probably get a rush job on bloody surgical wound tattooed somewhere on your back.

So here’s my tapering plan for the week:

• Do one more 10 mile ride, stop for scones and ice cream
• Eat some bon-bons at night to replace lost calories from all this riding I’m doing
• Tatoo my back with a big bloody surgical incision with stitches
• Carb up on Friday night
• Caffeinate on Saturday morning

Oh ya, the “Social Ride,” babies. It’s on.