Two years ago this weekend, Mr. Wild Dingo and I drove up to the city to adopt Loki. I still remember the mixed feelings I had when I met him. He was much bigger than I had anticipated and he wasn’t even full grown. But his silly personality and his sad beginnings are what sold Mr. Wild Dingo and I on him.

It’s been a wild and crazy two years with Loki.  While many of our readers think Loki is a well-adjusted, well-behaved, easy-to-train dog, I can honestly admit that it’s been a roller coaster ride and I’m still not certain we’re dialed in tightly as a team yet. With all the training and work we’ve done together in the last two years, he’s still challenging me and calling me on my inconsistencies as his handler. And “handled” he must be.

Loki is a wonderfully smart, driven and silly dog. He’s also easily frustrated which can be good and bad for learning new things. Frustration builds drive and drive builds learning. So while it’s pretty easy to teach him new things, on the flip side, his frustration can lead to undesired behaviors. Loki’s also anxious and unconfident.  He’s a not a dog that would fit in with just any family.

Retardo Montelban

Loki’s also sensitive to sound. I mean really sensitive. So much so, I can’t even use the blinkers in the car with the windows open. I forgot to tell Mr. Wild Dingo this while we were driving with Loki last week. Mr. Wild Dingo put on the blinkers and Loki promptly pulled out ear-splitting yaps, giving Mr. Wild Dingo just the jolt he needed. (Ooopsie.)

He also has the most insane pack drive I’ve ever seen which has earned him the nickname “Retardo Montelban.”  His jumping, barking and thrashing about whenever Mr. Wild Dingo and Juno came to class was difficult to ignore by classmates. Heaven forbid I ever hand Loki’s leash to another person. Though he’s people friendly, he’ll raise bloody hell before anyone else but me, Mr. Wild Dingo or a few of the trainers can hold his or even Juno’s leash. Yes, you read that right. He won’t stand for anyone else handling Juno either.

A few weeks ago, I contacted Loki’s foster and asked her to send me digital copies of photos I found in his paperwork. I had begun to wonder a little more about his background and age. These are some of the photos I found in his file that were taken January 2008.  His adoption files had these photos from his first foster in Taiwan, and said he was 1.5  years old and 36 lbs. Based on the January 2008 images below, and his adult weight (67 lbs), I seriously doubt he was more than a year old in January 2008.

Even before he was a year old, Loki nailed down his innocent puppy look.

Back then his ears were so big, they couldn’t stand up on his small head.

Look at the size of those paws!

Not much of his widow’s mark shows in his puppy face, which is all black. But his eyes, tail and ears are so telling. Does anyone want to just salt those ears and munch them up like I want to?

When he came to us end of May 2008, he was 58 lbs, which was about 90% of his adult body weight. According to dog growth charts, that would make him at about a year old when we adopted him. Given all of that, I decided that his anniversary would be the same day as his birthday, which makes him three years old this weekend.

Loki’s US foster mom sent me the above photos with the following provoking thoughts that I think can apply to any rescued dog:

“I learned a long time ago that I do not want to know too much about their previous lives. Sometimes history is best left alone and unsaid. There are things you will learn from him over time when he is ready to tell you. If he remembers. Some things are only bad as we perceive them, not how others see them. It really doesn’t matter how old he is or what his life was like. What matters is how he/you deal with his life now. Remember, dogs are never victims, they accept life for what or how it is and have the best time they can. Give him kisses for me and remind him that is a long way from where he started and very lucky!”

I think Loki knows he’s lucky. But I get the feeling he’s always wondering when he will be forced to leave again (never). He had so much change as a young pup that it seems perfectly natural in his learned behavior to fear being separated from his pack.

Regardless of his anxieties, Loki has for the most part, learned to trust me. And obviously, that is where he’s gone terribly wrong. Just look at the various ways I torture him.

“Hallo. My name is Inigo Montoyo. You killed my stuffie. Prepare to die.”

“Does this crown make my butt look big?

“Does this boa make my ears look big?”

“Is it ok to steal a cookie if I’m wearing a mask?”

“I can’t help how handsome I am. ”

Regardless of all the challenges he has and continues to present, Loki can charm the most unsuspecting person with silly behaviors. The range of expression in his face seems infinite. Every time I photograph him, I’m conflicted in my choice of photos to use for this blog because each expression tells a complex story. I love the fact that he has grown to love modeling. I can litterally put any costume on him and he not only endures it but rises to the occasion and pulls out his own “Blue Steel” for the camera.

I’m grateful Loki came into our lives because he’s taught me a few things about myself. For one thing, I’ve learned more in the past 2 years about training dogs than I had ever planned. When I adopted him, I foolishly thought we’d go to one or two obedience classes and be done with it. But his own drive to work and my own need to handle his anxious behavior kept us in school.  I’ve also learned that working with dogs is far more fascinating than I anticipated. It doesn’t matter if temperament is born or learned, it’s obedience training that builds confidence. And while his temperament may never change, obedience and consistent handling will be his saving grace. I’ve made my share of mistakes with Loki but luckily for me, he’s been forgiving. I’m still learning. Unfortunately for Loki, he’s my unwitting experiment.  Booowhahahaha!

“Oh crud Big boy. Why do we ALWAYS have to pose for the camera before we eat our pupper-versary cake?”
“Princess, just do what she says. Really.”
At home, Loki is the picture of perfect.

The husky in Juno comes out and she jumps the gun before we release her. Loki is the ever attentive soldier and will only eat when told. I told you he has “issues.”

“Happy Anniversary Big Boy. I’m glad you’re my pack mate.”
“Thanks Princess. I’m glad you’re my bite-toy, err… my pack mate too.”

Happy Anniversary Loki. We love you more than you know.

Loki, Juno and I have known Sugar for a while now and met on the Internet when Sugar’s mom, Crazy Lady, commented on this post because we shared the same breed of dog: a Formosan Mountain Dog. Loki and Sugar had similar temperaments thus, Sugar’s mom, Crazy Lady and I commiserated. But over the last two years, the two of us prevailed and have watched each other’s dogs grow into wonderful…cough, cough… wonderful, well-behaved canine citizens.

When Crazy Lady first shared with me her health issues, at the time mainly seizures, she said something about Sugar going berzerk just before one of them. I think I can safely say that I planted the seed that Sugar was alerting and that she needed to get her trained and certified and ASAP, because Sugar can work and that’s what Formosan Mountain dogs do best. They are “busy” dogs and love to work.

Well, Crazy Lady got Sugar trained and certified, but above what I ever dreamed. I only expected this little doggie to tell Crazy Lady when she was going to have a seizure so Crazy Lady could make herself safe. But she does so much more! This little doggie is so strong, she carries like 387 lbs of Crazy Lady’s medicines and purse items. Crazy Lady must have a lot of lipstick because I refuse to believe she has 386 lbs of medicines. It just can’t be.

Sugar also acts like a cane for Crazy Lady! Huh? How in the world does a  30-something pound dog hold up a PERSON? All I can surmise from having a similar cracked-up, err, I mean, highly-work-motivated Formosan dog with lots of muscles is that Sugar is built for strength and can probably hold up about 787 lbs if she had to. Between you and me, I see Sugar at Gold’s Gym pumping iron in the wee hours of the morning while Crazy Lady is still asleep.  Geesh, that dog NEVER stops working!

And there’s brains behind all that brawn that Sugar carries.  Sugar can alert and get help for Crazy Lady’s seizures. Personally, I think Sugar Sweet is far more qualified than any of the required quacks, I mean, doctors that Crazy Lady has been forced to see in the “system.”  If you don’t believe me, read here or here.

You know what’s even more amazing about Sugar? Before she met Crazy Lady, she was tossed away in Taiwan. On the streets. Abandoned. Alone, starving. Somebody didn’t want her. She had been trained as it was obvious she knew some commands. But someone intentionally threw this dog away, like useless trash.

When Sugar met Crazy Lady, she was shy and frightened but she blossomed into a wonderful companion pet. When life took an unexpected rough turn for Crazy Lady’s health, Sugar rose to the occasion and quickly grew into exactly what Crazy Lady needed to live safely, and sanely!

Can you believe how lucky Crazy Lady is to get a dog like this? Thousands of dollars are spent on training medical service and seizure alert dogs yearly and fate dropped her in Crazy Lady’s lap.

Sugar is not only fulfilling her destiny of being an outstanding working dog, but she is living proof of how a discarded then rescued dog can not only blossom into a loving companion pet but into an invaluable partner.

Visit Sugar Sweet’s blog to read more about her. But for now, she needs your vote, so go to Mango Minster Hard Working Girls and vote for Sugar Sweet NOW!

It must be a bitch to get a good nights sleep with those ears. She also noted that his yin pulse was a bit off (resulting in an anxious dog). Wow. I’ve never known him to be “anxious.”

It’s hard to believe this cute floppy eared puppy turned into…

this wildebeast with gynormous ears.  

Gosh I wish I had my hands on him when he was a pup. He probably wouldn’t have turned into Retardo Montalban, the only dog with the most rediculous pack drive you’ll ever witness. It’s been almost a year and a half since we adopted him and he still sticks to me like super glue. On the other hand, it makes him an extremely interesting dog and I still shake my head and wonder why in the world anyone would give him up, let alone drive him miles from his home, abandon him and drive away. Sure, he’s goofy, a bully and a brat. But he’s incredibly smart, extremely loyal, anxious to please and stands at attention like a soldier when working. 

And he’s smart enough to cheat when we play hide-n-seek.

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, … 100!”

“Ready or not, here I come!”

She’s a lady, for sure. But she did have frijoles for dinner last night. I’m just sayin…

Fine Print:  FMD Satellite does not guarantee FMD and its signal will stay in one location long enough for you to watch an entire show.

Oh well, there’s nothing ever on TV anyway!

“I’m not so sure shaking the hula hoop is defined in the definition of “working dog.” Besides, it brings a little too much attention to my apple bottom booty.”

“Weee!” Juno scretchs to a hault and sits promptly in the show-down competition of hurdling an obstacle and recalling to the sit. She beats the border collie by minutes. Woo hoo! Huskies rule and Border Collies drool. But I’m not competitive. Nope, not at all.

“Shoooow me the hot dog!”

“You want me to do what? Sit next to him? Up here? How much will you pay me?”

“If I close my eyes really tight, this beach class will go away and I will be running free on the Isle of the Ill-Behaved!”

Sneak-peak at September’s masthead inspiration.

The trainer asks, “What’s the problem?”

“Let me show you,” I reply. I turn to Loki and say, “Loki, Fetch!”

Loki slowly walks away then turns around and replies, “So why are you talking to me like that? You always order me around like I’m nothing. You tell me to come, I come, then in the middle of me coming to you, you change your mind and say ‘down.’ Up, down, up, down! What am I, an elevator? You point your finger at me and shoot me like some sadist and the next minute expect me to lay adoringly at your feet.”

“Then you make me sleep on the floor, with my sciatica. And do you ever take me for a decent walk? NO, it’s out of the house, a short pee, and right back home. Maybe if I could stretch out a little, the sciatica wouldn’t kill me so much! I should roll over and play dead for real for all you care!”

“That’s amazing that he can talk! So what’s the problem?” the trainer asks.

“He has a hearing problem! I said ‘Fetch’ not ‘Kvetch!’ ”

****

Kvetching during training is an art form for Loki.  It gives onlookers a great chuckle because it goes a little like this.

Me: “Heel” (Loki heels.)

Me: “Down”

Loki: “Arghahahahrhg  grrr  ghrrrhh” and Loki lays down.

He talks back all the time. We discovered one reason he kvetches is because he keys into the smallest body movements, even my hesitations and pauses, and truly gets confused. So during our Tuesday training session we worked on training my body movements and now there’s less confusion and less kvetching. At least for now.

It will be a sad day, for me and the audience, when he makes it through an entire class without a peep from that yapper.

How this dog, who can sit politely and patiently wait for me, can be considered … err … actually be “naughty.”

Or how this dog is considered a “working” dog.

“Hey sleepyhead, sit up straight and at least look like you’re paying attention. The female bi-ped is watching us.”

“Pipe down jabber mouth. I was just in the middle of a great dream about a hunky malamute bringing me a meaty bone.”

I really wanted Loki to like both TravelMarx so I stuffed two tug toys in Marc’s and Mark’s luggage when I picked them up so they could pull them out after meeting the terrible two-some. I’m a thinker like that.  Anyone who plays tug with the 24-hour tug machine is on Loki’s A-List.

I love to bore everyone with a dog and trick show. Loki and Juno gave a private performance of their best agility.
“Oh crud. The things this human puts us through…”

We went for a walk on the first day in the mountains. Loki and Juno complain about how ruff they have it and beg Marc to bring them back to Seattle.

We live to torment the dogs.
Loki: “Hey Little Miss, watch where you stick that nose.”
Juno: “Like I have a choice. Do you think I’d willingly put my nose anywhere it could be blown off?”

We’ll never get a dining room table. Who needs one when the dining room can be a tug room?

We tormented the Travelmarx with a morning at the K9 Clinic.  A year ago, Loki could  not do this simple little behavior of sitting quietly at the training clinic. One day last year, Loki barked at a puppy and the trainer was like, “Barking at a puppy? That’s not right.” And I’m all like “WTF? Hello….Have you NOT noticed that he never shuts up? Like, can you provide either advice on what to do or slip him a Mickey so we can all have a little peace of mind?”  Little things like sitting quietly make me think there’s hope for him yet.

For once, Loki is the calm one and I look like a lunatic marching soldier. “Oh please, oh please don’t let us get kicked out of the master’s class!” Loki walks next to his GSD buddy, Yagu. Seems like all the shepherds really like Loki, or maybe they enjoy ignoring him. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Loki bully a GSD on the field.  He’s bullied a lot of other dogs, but never a GSD.

This doesn’t look that interesting. But seriously? Half these dogs in this tightly knit group are “naughty,” meaning,  they’ve been labeled aggressive or dog aggressive. One of them in particular is rated a 10 on a scale of 1-10 (no not Loki) and I’ve never seen that dog be naughty in class.  And they’re all calmly laying down in close proximity next to each other with no naughtiness. It’s impressive what training can do for a behaviorally challenged dog. Though its never a good idea to leave Loki lying down too long. It gives him time to plan his revenge…on me!

“Hey human, what’s next? If I’m such a “working dog” what the hell am I doing always laying around?”

Juno shows up for her class with Mr. Wild Dingo and makes crazy eyes at the camera. But she does us proud. During class, Scott recalled her and Loki whined while he watched from the sidelines. For a split second during her recall, she glanced over and considered following Loki’s whining request “don’t go to my human Scott” but she made me proud and blew Loki off and finished running to Scott. Loki immediately got put in the car for bossing Juno from the sidelines. Doh! The power is shifting. Loki is losing his ground on Juno!

Posing with one of the TravelMarx before Juno’s class starts.

Wow! Who says Huskies aren’t obedient? She’s like the only dog in her class who can heel off leash. Juno turns on a dime and follows Scott’s request to heel.

“Wow pop. Nice biceps. Oh what’s that? You want me to sit? Maybe I’ll just lay here a little bit longer and admire those biceps.”

That night we hosted a BBQ. I never remember to take pictures during the party, but we got a quick shot of the early food.

Juno turned from a husky into a hussy, turning tricks every chance she had. She learned very fast that her Juno Mind Trick would make any sucker deliver a tasty human treat into her mouth! She should be arrested for selling herself so shamelessly.

Loki catches on to the scam too and play bows all the party suckers into giving him grilled chicken.

The next day, we visited the Academy of Sciences in San Francisco on the last day, sans dogs. I know, it’s uncivilized how dogs are not allowed in some places. Here we are in a “rainforest.” I donno. I expected a little more Jurasic Park and a little less concrete for it to feel like a rainforest. Most of the plants were common household plants and the biggest thing we had to worry about (other than humidity frizzing our hair) was a butterfly accidentally landing on us. Lame.

Posing with the TravelMarx on the “weed roof” (Living Roof) of the Academy of Science. The docent told us they started with 7 species of indigenous plants last year to grow the garden on the roof. In less than a year they have over 70. Then she told us that they would remain low and like ground cover and would never get that tall. Um, ya, right.  I’ll bet it takes more energy to maintain it than it actually saves or produces.

We pause for a bit of yoga at the end of our visit. I balance precariously in “Half Moon on Wedge Heels” pose, while Mark to the left balances in “Half Moon Hand Holding” pose and Marc on the right takes the “Saturday Night Fever” pose. Visitors in back practice “Laugh at the Morons” pose.

The End.