It must be a bitch to get a good nights sleep with those ears. She also noted that his yin pulse was a bit off (resulting in an anxious dog). Wow. I’ve never known him to be “anxious.”

It’s hard to believe this cute floppy eared puppy turned into…

this wildebeast with gynormous ears.  

Gosh I wish I had my hands on him when he was a pup. He probably wouldn’t have turned into Retardo Montalban, the only dog with the most rediculous pack drive you’ll ever witness. It’s been almost a year and a half since we adopted him and he still sticks to me like super glue. On the other hand, it makes him an extremely interesting dog and I still shake my head and wonder why in the world anyone would give him up, let alone drive him miles from his home, abandon him and drive away. Sure, he’s goofy, a bully and a brat. But he’s incredibly smart, extremely loyal, anxious to please and stands at attention like a soldier when working. 

And he’s smart enough to cheat when we play hide-n-seek.

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, … 100!”

“Ready or not, here I come!”

She’s a lady, for sure. But she did have frijoles for dinner last night. I’m just sayin…

“I’m not so sure shaking the hula hoop is defined in the definition of “working dog.” Besides, it brings a little too much attention to my apple bottom booty.”

“Weee!” Juno scretchs to a hault and sits promptly in the show-down competition of hurdling an obstacle and recalling to the sit. She beats the border collie by minutes. Woo hoo! Huskies rule and Border Collies drool. But I’m not competitive. Nope, not at all.

“Shoooow me the hot dog!”

“You want me to do what? Sit next to him? Up here? How much will you pay me?”

“If I close my eyes really tight, this beach class will go away and I will be running free on the Isle of the Ill-Behaved!”

Sneak-peak at September’s masthead inspiration.

The trainer asks, “What’s the problem?”

“Let me show you,” I reply. I turn to Loki and say, “Loki, Fetch!”

Loki slowly walks away then turns around and replies, “So why are you talking to me like that? You always order me around like I’m nothing. You tell me to come, I come, then in the middle of me coming to you, you change your mind and say ‘down.’ Up, down, up, down! What am I, an elevator? You point your finger at me and shoot me like some sadist and the next minute expect me to lay adoringly at your feet.”

“Then you make me sleep on the floor, with my sciatica. And do you ever take me for a decent walk? NO, it’s out of the house, a short pee, and right back home. Maybe if I could stretch out a little, the sciatica wouldn’t kill me so much! I should roll over and play dead for real for all you care!”

“That’s amazing that he can talk! So what’s the problem?” the trainer asks.

“He has a hearing problem! I said ‘Fetch’ not ‘Kvetch!’ ”

****

Kvetching during training is an art form for Loki.  It gives onlookers a great chuckle because it goes a little like this.

Me: “Heel” (Loki heels.)

Me: “Down”

Loki: “Arghahahahrhg  grrr  ghrrrhh” and Loki lays down.

He talks back all the time. We discovered one reason he kvetches is because he keys into the smallest body movements, even my hesitations and pauses, and truly gets confused. So during our Tuesday training session we worked on training my body movements and now there’s less confusion and less kvetching. At least for now.

It will be a sad day, for me and the audience, when he makes it through an entire class without a peep from that yapper.

How this dog, who can sit politely and patiently wait for me, can be considered … err … actually be “naughty.”

Or how this dog is considered a “working” dog.

“Hey sleepyhead, sit up straight and at least look like you’re paying attention. The female bi-ped is watching us.”

“Pipe down jabber mouth. I was just in the middle of a great dream about a hunky malamute bringing me a meaty bone.”

I really wanted Loki to like both TravelMarx so I stuffed two tug toys in Marc’s and Mark’s luggage when I picked them up so they could pull them out after meeting the terrible two-some. I’m a thinker like that.  Anyone who plays tug with the 24-hour tug machine is on Loki’s A-List.

I love to bore everyone with a dog and trick show. Loki and Juno gave a private performance of their best agility.
“Oh crud. The things this human puts us through…”

We went for a walk on the first day in the mountains. Loki and Juno complain about how ruff they have it and beg Marc to bring them back to Seattle.

We live to torment the dogs.
Loki: “Hey Little Miss, watch where you stick that nose.”
Juno: “Like I have a choice. Do you think I’d willingly put my nose anywhere it could be blown off?”

We’ll never get a dining room table. Who needs one when the dining room can be a tug room?

We tormented the Travelmarx with a morning at the K9 Clinic.  A year ago, Loki could  not do this simple little behavior of sitting quietly at the training clinic. One day last year, Loki barked at a puppy and the trainer was like, “Barking at a puppy? That’s not right.” And I’m all like “WTF? Hello….Have you NOT noticed that he never shuts up? Like, can you provide either advice on what to do or slip him a Mickey so we can all have a little peace of mind?”  Little things like sitting quietly make me think there’s hope for him yet.

For once, Loki is the calm one and I look like a lunatic marching soldier. “Oh please, oh please don’t let us get kicked out of the master’s class!” Loki walks next to his GSD buddy, Yagu. Seems like all the shepherds really like Loki, or maybe they enjoy ignoring him. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Loki bully a GSD on the field.  He’s bullied a lot of other dogs, but never a GSD.

This doesn’t look that interesting. But seriously? Half these dogs in this tightly knit group are “naughty,” meaning,  they’ve been labeled aggressive or dog aggressive. One of them in particular is rated a 10 on a scale of 1-10 (no not Loki) and I’ve never seen that dog be naughty in class.  And they’re all calmly laying down in close proximity next to each other with no naughtiness. It’s impressive what training can do for a behaviorally challenged dog. Though its never a good idea to leave Loki lying down too long. It gives him time to plan his revenge…on me!

“Hey human, what’s next? If I’m such a “working dog” what the hell am I doing always laying around?”

Juno shows up for her class with Mr. Wild Dingo and makes crazy eyes at the camera. But she does us proud. During class, Scott recalled her and Loki whined while he watched from the sidelines. For a split second during her recall, she glanced over and considered following Loki’s whining request “don’t go to my human Scott” but she made me proud and blew Loki off and finished running to Scott. Loki immediately got put in the car for bossing Juno from the sidelines. Doh! The power is shifting. Loki is losing his ground on Juno!

Posing with one of the TravelMarx before Juno’s class starts.

Wow! Who says Huskies aren’t obedient? She’s like the only dog in her class who can heel off leash. Juno turns on a dime and follows Scott’s request to heel.

“Wow pop. Nice biceps. Oh what’s that? You want me to sit? Maybe I’ll just lay here a little bit longer and admire those biceps.”

That night we hosted a BBQ. I never remember to take pictures during the party, but we got a quick shot of the early food.

Juno turned from a husky into a hussy, turning tricks every chance she had. She learned very fast that her Juno Mind Trick would make any sucker deliver a tasty human treat into her mouth! She should be arrested for selling herself so shamelessly.

Loki catches on to the scam too and play bows all the party suckers into giving him grilled chicken.

The next day, we visited the Academy of Sciences in San Francisco on the last day, sans dogs. I know, it’s uncivilized how dogs are not allowed in some places. Here we are in a “rainforest.” I donno. I expected a little more Jurasic Park and a little less concrete for it to feel like a rainforest. Most of the plants were common household plants and the biggest thing we had to worry about (other than humidity frizzing our hair) was a butterfly accidentally landing on us. Lame.

Posing with the TravelMarx on the “weed roof” (Living Roof) of the Academy of Science. The docent told us they started with 7 species of indigenous plants last year to grow the garden on the roof. In less than a year they have over 70. Then she told us that they would remain low and like ground cover and would never get that tall. Um, ya, right.  I’ll bet it takes more energy to maintain it than it actually saves or produces.

We pause for a bit of yoga at the end of our visit. I balance precariously in “Half Moon on Wedge Heels” pose, while Mark to the left balances in “Half Moon Hand Holding” pose and Marc on the right takes the “Saturday Night Fever” pose. Visitors in back practice “Laugh at the Morons” pose.

The End.

“Hey Daddy-O, this class is cramping my style. Let’s make like a tree and leave.”

“Keep talking. I got a lot of room left in my ears yet.”

]]> http://www.wilddingo.com/2009/07/27/beach-blanket-bombs/feed/ 4 http://www.wilddingo.com/2009/07/20/chronicles-of-loki/ http://www.wilddingo.com/2009/07/20/chronicles-of-loki/#comments Tue, 21 Jul 2009 06:04:18 +0000 Wild Dingo http://www.wilddingo.com/?p=1792 [...]]]> For the three readers who actually read this blog, the few who know Loki and ALL the dog handlers at the K-9 Clinic, you all know how far he’s come. Last year, I couldn’t last 3 minutes in class without him yapping, jumping, mouthing and thrashing around like a raving lunatic. Now, when he goes to training class with just me, he’s very well-behaved and fairly quiet and can look like this:

A calm, confident, quiet, dog. How about that?

But then we started taking Juno to the same class as Loki mainly because Juno turns into her own version of a raving lunatic when she’s left alone, and well, she can use some obedience training too. But something strange happens when Scott and Juno come onto the same training field as Loki.

First, let’s observe several well-behaved dogs in their down-stay positions:

Notice Scott and Juno are quiet, calm and and well, just being darn good while Juno stays in her down.

Now let’s widen the angle of this photo a bit and see what we get:

Hmm…who is that dog being led away from the group because he can’t shut his yapper?

Let’s take a closer look:

Yup, there he is. My Lunatic. Doing exactly what he used to do the very first day I took him to school. Why? Because he can’t stand the thought of Scott giving Juno any attention.

Loki is on a unique 10-step training plan: Five steps forward and five steps back. I’m just lucky that the trainers “graduated” Loki to the next level class so the two are not on the field at the same time together anymore.  Did they take pity on me or could they not listen to Loki yap one more second on another Saturday morning?

Now the question is: which is the lesser of two lunatics? One who destroys the yard and home when alone? Or one who destroys your good name in public? I guess it doesn’t matter when you’re lunatic enough to love them anyway.

Twinkle Toes, the Formosan Jumping Bean,  shows us it takes more than one human hurdle to challenge his athletics!

Wanna be startin’ somthin’…

Hmmm…  I just figured out where Loki gets all the little scabs on his back side.

“Hi tough-guy, lookin’ for a little action?”

“Arrrrahahrrrraahrrrarrhhh….my mouwf is bigger than your mouwf! Ararrraaarrararragggh!”

“How about I take that toy off your jaw for a little bit?”

Real unaltered photographic evidence that the husky can be as ferocious as that bully of a Formosan dog!
Just look at those gums! 
Now, Mr. Wild Dingo, do you believe me?

This month’s masthead celebrates one of America’s favorite junk foods. I don’t think I would ever got the Husky to do a single thing without the magic of hot dogs. Marker training rules. Even for low drive dogs, like the Husky. Loki? He’ll do anything just for his marker word and some praise. For a hot dog, well, he’d probably rescue a baby from a burning building or land a 747 jet plane.  Juno? Well, she needs a little more motivation to come, heel or roll over. At least initially. And she cannot resist the hot dog. It doesn’t take long to ween her off the dogs and just get her working for praise, but initially, she needs them to learn a new thing that she’s afraid of. Which is about everything. She’s especially afraid of Mr. Wild Dingo.  Looks like he’ll be carrying those hot dogs for a long time!

Handsome patiently waits in the shade for his turn after Juno. He can’t help his good looks.

Loki’s a “dog-in-the-box”. Like a plug-n-play item for your home.
You basically just point at something and say something and he does something.

Weee! Mexican Formosan Jumping Bean flexing his muscle.

Loki asked me to include this shot because his toes are twinkling.
But don’t call him twinkle toes. I can’t be responsible for the consequences.

From what I read, Formosan dogs are very rare and it’s unlikely you’ll find a pure bred Formosan. It’s more likely you’ll get a mixed breed Formosan. Loki is not full Formosan and is definitely part German Shepherd. I made the educated guess that he is also part Formosan from his build and his temperament (high drive, working dog, similar to the GSD). He has a triangular head, muscular body shape, long legs and no belly hair just like a Formosan dog, but his markings and large ears are definitely GSD. But he’s definitely part Formosan based on his build and temperament. It seems Formosan temperaments are similar to GSD’s in terms of herding, guarding and high-working drives.

For the record, I do not have any available Formosan dogs and I have no idea where to get them, however, I would suggest searching the Internet for rescue organizations that rescue dogs from Taiwan. Loki was a complete accident in terms of what breed we got. When I was ready to adopt, I was actually looking for a dingo. Try finding one of those! I found an American Dingo breeder but because I believe in rescue, I didn’t purchase a dingo pup. Besides, the breeder did not have a return policy, which I believe is important for any breeder or foster/rescue organization. Not that I would just give back a dog, but because if for some reason I become incapacitated and can no longer care for my dogs, I would like to know he or she will always have a dog-mother home to go to. I think it’s a shame when a breeder doesn’t offer or insist on this policy in a contractual format, especially since they took the time to raise the pup. Some rescue groups make you sign a contract that you cannot adopt out your dog to anyone without their permission, which I think is an excellent idea. These groups put so much time, money and effort into their rescues that it’s their way of ensuring that the rescued dog goes to a good home lives out a healthy normal life and doesn’t end up in the pound on death row. Either way you get a dog, make sure they have a return policy, so your dog will always have a safe place to go in the event you can’t take care of it. And he has someone watching out for his family history.

Both Loki and Juno have dog-mother/rescue groups they can go to should anything happen to Scott and me. That makes me feel much happier knowing they’d be taken care of.

Anyway, I chose Loki not for his breed, but because he didn’t have any more chances at having a home due to his challenging temperament. His temperament and looks reminded me of the dingo, so that was good enough for me.

But if you’re looking to adopt a dog, Formosan or otherwise, please consider rescuing! There are plenty of breed or mixed breed rescue groups out there! And if you’re looking for a Formosan dog, please consider rescuing a mixed breed from Taiwan. Many of the mixed breeds are part Formosan.

*****

This weekend Mr. Wild Dingo took the dogs out on the trail for their walk. He came back so surprised at how well they walk together and how they automatically walked behind him on the steep descents. In the early days, walking Loki and/or Juno was a major health risk, between dislocating your shoulder or a getting a concussion from having them pull you into a head-first rolling descent down steep rocky trails. He was flabbergasted that Loki automatically went behind him before steep descents and stood there to remind him to make Juno go behind him too. Apparently, he told Juno “back” once or twice and she did it.

Mr. Wild Dingo casually asked me if they knew what the word “back” meant because when he said it, they went behind him.  I’m all like, ‘Yah, they’ve been taking English at the community college. They’re not so good with the grammar, but they’re better than the average immigrant. They’re also taking film classes too. Next time, try telling them ‘Super-cali-fragilistic-expiali-docious.’ Don’t be surprised if they break out their umbrellas.”

Sigh. Sometimes Mr. Wild Dingo greatly underestimates the effort it takes to train these darn dogs.

The trainer that Loki and Juno work with once said that huskies were “wild” dogs and not really meant to be domestic, or something along those lines. I could be mincing words so don’t get up in my grill about his exact words or disagreeing with his opinion. He’s an experienced K9 police dog trainer who works a lot with German Shepherd Dogs so I get his point. What’s true about Huskies is that they are adventurous and very independent, which can almost be synonymous with “wild.” But the truth is, Loki (the GSD mix in this photo) is the wild one and Juno is the sweet, mostly well-adjusted dog (we’ll get to her oh-so-fun behaviors later this month). 

Though he’s still considered a naughty dog, Loki is very obedient and Juno, a non-aggressive dog, is very disobedient and independent as her breed tends to be. She’d much rather think for her self than perform for a person. So getting them to pose for their “Go Orange” photo shoot this month was a whole lot of easy and hard. Loki makes it extremely easy. He’ll do anything I tell him for as long as it takes. Juno is stubborn and usually I’m the one doing all the work in order for her to do one small task. Those “wild” ones tend to be a whole lot smarter than they look. Yes, I’m talking about Juno. Still, she responds well to training and is beginning to love the training games we play. She just needs to cross it over into working obedience and she’ll one day make a fine German Shepherd Cat masquerading as a Husky.

It was Mardi Gras at casa Wild Dingo this Saturday. We’ve been hermits for too long and we’re at the point where we don’t give a hoot if we have an unfinished bath, no dining table and a mile-long list of things to finish.  And it’s always a good idea to remind yourself why you shouldn’t drink too much on a regular basis. We should have posted a surgeon general warning on the punch bowl that drinking hurricanes can result in a night in jail or a two-day hangover. That punch prevented me from taking any photos during the party, but here are some pre-party and closing party shots.

We provided guests with plenty of ways to disguise their bacchanalian behavior.

Host and hostess sit in the costume staging area awaiting their first guests.

Juno already has her eye on her favorite tiara.
I took 10 photos. Loki looked the same in each one never taking his eyes off of me, waiting for my next command.
That husky…she has her own ideas.

King Cake, spicy wings, hurricane mix await Carnival gluttony.

These two always find a way to crash my parties.

MEOW!

Reluctant Mardis Gras King. “Does this crown make my butt look too big?”

 “Ah much better. The matching boa doesn’t make this crown look so stupid.”

Mardi Gras Queen

“Hello ladies and germs. I just flew in from Louisiana and boy do my paws hurt!”
Ba-dum-pah!

Halftime show in the bedroom.
Who knew hurricane punch drink and huskies don’t mix?
(Photo courtesy of a masked guest.)

Too many hurricanes. Can’t… reach…punch bowl.

It seems while Juno was practicing downward dog the temptation of recycled rubber was too much for her to resist. She gave it the low rating of two small nibbles. To you and me, that’s a big thumbs down.

I came home here to find her browsing the FLOR catalog. She’s obviously not a fan of their products. But she found the catalog paper about 80 chews delightful.

She also ate another pair of Crocs and my dog yard shoes. She did me a favor. Both were old, stinky and due for an upgrade!

I finally gave Juno a proper furmination. She lost about 10 lbs in fur. Don’t worry; she still has her cankles and that voluptuous Marilyn Monroe figure. At least now she doesn’t look like she has junk in her trunk. 

The other day, while making dinner, I felt a little “nip” on my butt. I turned around to find Juno behind me, looking sheepishly playful. She doesn’t bark and never bit, even playfully–until now. “Juno! Where did you learn to do that?” Juno turned and looked at Loki, lying down at the other end of the kitchen, looking proudly at his apprentice. Sigh. June-bug, that’s like taking career advice from a criminal.

Meanwhile, the Formosan Mt. Dog is taking his guard duty very seriously. A few nights ago, before bed we heard him growling on the stairs. We had a look outside and saw nothing so we blew it off. An hour later, our ice maker machine burst about 1000 ice cubes all over our kitchen floor, for no reason. We had to cut the power breaker to shut it off. Ice maker machines: watch out. My Formosan Mt. Dog is watching you.

I caught Loki “counter surfing” a few weeks ago. Apparently counter surfing is a sport among huskies. He didn’t have this behavior before we had Juno Bella. The tutor became the apprentice in this new sport. He took to eating an entire stick of butter while Juno watched and scored his athletics. So I got in the habit of pushing the butter dish way back and covering it. The other night after dinner, I heard him in the kitchen, crying as if a knife flew off the counter and into his heart. I ran in expecting blood or a dog writhing on the floor in pain only to find him sitting in front of the counter where the butter dish was, despondent—heartbroken—that he couldn’t compete in his new favorite sport. Damn drama queen.

And finally, here’s a way to waste 4 minutes of your day. I found these party animals trying to keep the New Year’s party a rockin’ a few days after the party. Lobbying for another party where they can ham it up with the locals. Hmmmm… another party…it’s got me thinking… Click the movie below for QuickTime. Or click Party Animals for the MPG. (The MPG is still downloading to the server as this post went live at 12:38 pm. Give it some time.)

Me: “Hello. My name is Julie. I’m a Bad Dogaholic.”

Group: “Hello Julie.”

How can something as sweet as this:

Do something as evil as this?

Another shoe fatality at Wild Dingo.

Before we left for our mountain bike ride the other day, I told Scott “Better pick up your shoes and put anything away that is chewable. Juno likes to chew.” But he replied, “I don’t have anything of value.”

Then we came home to one of his flip flops out in the yard, the other in the living room, beside my microfiber Dusting Slippers. (Ok, so I also belong to Dustaholics Anonymous. With all these support groups, it leaves little time for riding my bike.) The flip flops were a fatality but my slippers were only left slightly “roomier” in the toes. Someone sure cared enough about these slippers causing some nasty bunions.

Hmmm…Who could do this? I picked up the shoe, sighed and said softly, “bad doggies,” without really intending to correct them, because it was beyond too late. You need to catch them red-pawed within 2 seconds of bad behavior for any “correction” to actually work. No sooner did I say ‘bad doggies’ than Loki took off to the far end of the yard fearing the skillet while Juno just smiled and wagged her tail at me. “Don’t look at me, I’m the sweet one. Loki’s the one running. He obviously did it,” she said. “Ah, but I’ve had Loki three months and he never had these types of priors on his record,” I tell her. Sure he bites, runs away, pulls on the leash, barks at everyone, wakes me up at the crack of dawn, is obnoxious 18 hours per day and sleeps only 6 hours… but chew? Nah. Not my Loki. Then he came over, picked up a piece of the flip flop and played keep away with Juno. Just what I need: another bad dog teaching my already bad dog more bad behaviors.

Sigh. I think this is going to require more than 12 steps to overcome my addiction.

On another note: Loki’s been down with a virus or bacterial infection for over a week. No need for worries. All blood tests are good. Just some really bad bug. Poor guy lost 4 or 5 pounds. And Juno is bored to death not having his jaws around her head or neck scruff 18 hours a day. But the upside is he gets to eat really good boiled chicken, rice, broth, Gerber baby food and cottage cheese. The downside, I usually get chased by a swarm of bees snacking on his high-protein poo when I clean the back yard.

Meet Juno.

Isn’t she gorgeous? Those amber eyes, that raccoon face. And you haven’t even seen her tail. All I need to do is spray some pledge on it and walk around the house saying nice things to her while she happily (“waggingly”) follows me. Unlike a certain dominating German Shepherd Formosan Mountain dog, she happily greets everyone wagging and kissing. Just sweet as cotton candy. I think her middle name will be Belle because she’s so pretty and sweet.

Anyway, here’s what sweet cotton candy can do to a door when you take the Formosan Mountain dog for his walk without her (because she had a little limp in her front paw that day) and lock her in the house.

Ya, she managed to try to open the mud room door from the bottom and the handle. When that didn’t work, she went for my purse and looked for some keys, only she couldn’t find them.

Frustrated, she chewed through the handles of my purse.

Finally, she managed to dismantle the dog door lock and pull it out, and waited for us patiently in the back yard. I’m lucky she didn’t dig out. The first few days, she was so sweet and docile, I wondered if she was a good fit for us. You know because I’m the only normal allowed in this house. But then she displayed this evil side of her. I think I love her. She has her own set of naughty that makes her fit in very well here.

How It All Happened

After meeting Juno last Saturday at the pet fair, I set up a meeting time for her and Loki on neutral territory. Since Scott came, Loki was very concerned. I’m sure his thoughts were that we were so over him and ready to give him back. As if. He’s much too evil to let just anyone have him.

At meeting Juno, he didn’t know what to make of her. He returned to me several times looking for leadership. “Should I play with her? Can I dominate her? Can I tell her to get off of me when she jumps me?” Finally! All those hours spent beating him with a skillet yelling “who’s your leader” paid off. He was behaving just as he was supposed to behave: asking me permission to interact with her, establish rank and then play. I was so proud of him.

Jim came to the meeting to make things more familiar. Loki went ballistic when he recognized him, jumping four feet in the air, happy to see him. Then Jim brought in two of his own, Vushkey (Loki’s favorite buddy) and Shadow (Juno’s secret admirer) to make the meeting less strange for Loki. Loki was even happier. He realized it was a play date, even though it was a whole new place.

I decided to adopt her. Her personality is completely sweet, and opposite of Loki’s. She looks tough, but she’s all confectionary sugar and is content to sit next to you and kiss you all day long.

Finally! My Very Own Husky Chew Toy! (Juno’s Obviously Not Amused.)

Over the last week, Loki adjusted very fast. At first, afraid of losing his leadership, he tried very hard to be very dominant with her, but couldn’t resist her charms. He often pulled his “possessive” moves, putting his body in between us and Juno. Then she’d lick his muzzle asking for permission to play with us and I’d watch him melt like butter on a warm frying pan. She’s one of those “you get more with honey than vinegar” types. And she has those Jedi “you will love me” powers that go beyond even Loki’s fears of losing his leadership. Just look at how much he likes her:

Do you take this canine to chew on and to wrestle with, in playtime and in snuggle-time, for stinkier or muddier?

Then she lowered her lashes until they almost cuddled her cheeks and slowly raised them again, like a theater curtain.I was to get to know that trick. That was supposed to make me roll over on my back with all four paws in the air.

She’s a husky. The kind of husky to keep a Formosan Mountain dog as busy as a one-legged tap dancer.

Juno’s the opposite of Loki. She’s quiet and docile. She didn’t bark once her first week–until she saw a cat. When she barked, I nearly fainted from surprise.

She’s also a lot like a kitten in dog clothing. (Husky owners please don’t shoot me.) Like a cat, Juno’s not very obedient for the sake of obedience. She’s super crafty and will take to doing as she pleases. She’s learned to turn the trash compactor on and I’m already expecting the day she’ll figure out how to open the trash can. Loki will obey once he’s learned a word, but Juno, well, I know she’s young but its obvious she has her own agenda when asking her to do things. Loki watches me teach her all his commands and he waits patiently while I teach her. When teaching her to wait at the top of the stairs, she’ll lay down, stick her nose and paw on the first stair, just to push the envelope, just like a cat. Loki watches it all, completely perplexed and probably thinking, “Finally I’M the good dog!”

Still she’s perfectly sweet and won’t do any harm except to shoes, purses, wires, furniture, and anything non-metal while being confined in a house alone. She’s not like Loki who needs a lot more work to keep people from fleeing every time they see me coming down the path with him. Honestly, it hurts my feelings to see sweet little Chinese ladies shrivel as far over as they can when they see Loki coming with his full-on “exuberance.” Ya, that’s the word for it. Now when they see Juno, everyone stops and sighs. Frankly Juno’s calm, sweet behavior is beginning to rub off on Loki and people are beginning to ask me more about him, rather than run away from him. Having Juno is already paying off, I suppose.

Together, Loki and Juno make one perfect Wild Dingo. Loki has Maggie’s abilities to antagonize and scare away anyone within 50 yards away from him and Juno has Maggie’s delicate physique (you have to pick her up to feel it), her dainty eating habits and her lady-like looks and her crafty mind. Like Maggie, Loki is a dog’s dog. But Juno loves people. Both have a bit of Maggie’s agility and independence. Both have their own sets of evil. And like Maggie, neither one of them scoots. What more could I ask for?

Loki’s Own Parody From “Stuart” by the Dead Milkmen:

You know what, Stuart, I LIKE you.
You’re not like the other people, here, in the trailer park.
Oh, don’t go get me wrong. They’re fine people, they’re good Americans.
But they’re content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kickback a cool, Coors 16-ouncer.
They’re good, fine people, Stuart. But they don’t know … what the deers are doing to the soil!

You know that Formosan Dog, the one who barks at everyone in the neighborhood?
He’s a foreign dog. Some people think he’s an attack dog, but I don’t believe it.
Anyway, for his 2nd birthday, all he wanted was a husky
Kept bugging his old lady. “Mom, get me a Siberian husky. I’ll never ask for anything else as long as I live.”
So the chick breaks down and rescues him a Siberian Husky.
Anyway, 10:30, the other day, I go out in the yard and there’s the Formosan Dog looking into the redwood trees.
I say “What are you lookin’ for?”
He says “I’m looking for my Siberian husky”
I say “Jumpin’ Jesus on a pogo stick! Everyone knows that Siberian Huskies Live in the house, where there’s air conditioning. Why do you think they call them Siberian Huskies anyway?”
Now Stuart, you think a dog like that is going to know what the deers are doing to our soil?