In other news, we found out Swiss Air will be starting direct flights to Zurich in June, which makes it a whole lot easier on us to fly with the dogs. No airlines will fly an animal with a layover. We were planning to drive to and fly from L.A. But now that’s one less leg of the trip we have to worry about.

And Loki and Juno remain up to their usual mischief causing quite a stir outside the Swiss Consulate:

Meanwhile, at the consulate’s office, I picked up about 37 thick brochures on Switzerland. As I picked them out, Mr. Wild Dingo claimed that I did not need “Gourmet Switzerland.” Silly Mr. Wild Dingo! Internet, can you believe he actually thinks I’m going to cook while I’m on my two-year vacation?

Wild Dingo is relocating from Northern California to Luasanne, Switzerland. I know. Insane. I can’t even freaking believe it myself. To answer the obvious: YES we can bring our dogs, with no quarantine.  That was the fist thing we thought about before we even considered the move.

Next question: Yes, it’s because Mr. Wild Dingo’s job is transferring him. Actually, he recommended himself for the new position in August, but a transfer from the U.S. to a Europe office takes a long time so we never really knew until Thanksgiving, when he returned home from a visit out there. That day he needed a beer.

Next question: Yes, we’re keeping our newly built mountain home. The transfer is temporary for two or three years. Which will fly by in a blink of an eye I’m sure.

Next question: We think the move won’t happen for two or three months. Though Mr. Wild Dingo’s new boss wants him to start immediately. So he’ll most likely be gone a lot until we move.

Next question: Yes, I’m working on paperwork and passports for Loki and Juno so they can travel easily throughout Europe. I mean, what else am I going to do there, work? Silly readers. Wild Dingo barely works as it is. Or at least, that’s what Mr. Wild Dingo says.  No instead, we’ll be working with a tutor (and not Dex’s tutor thank dog!). But this tutor will help us learn better French. We already speak it, but we want to speak it so they understand us. It’d be nice not to get pointed at and hear “silly American!” And my other activities there will be hopefully, dog training Loki in a sport, as well as day and weekend travel trips, Amelie-style with postcards of the two in famous places. Well, that’s the plan. Nothing ever goes to plan. I mean, we didn’t “plan” to move to Switzerland, did we?

Now for the Winners!

First, thank you all for playing my silly game. It was too fun and I hope to do more like it in the future. You all made me giggle every day and in this day, in this time, that is no small feat. So you are all winners in my book. And for that, Planet Blue Dog asked me to pass on this PAWESOME discount of 10% off if you mention the code: HOWLIDAYS.

The Winner of the Contest was Darwin of The Evolution of Darwin!

Darwin Won:

Chase It…Dogs Love It!
Fun for puppies, dogs, cats and people of all ages. Grab onto the ergonomic handle and move the toy in a circular, zig zag or lunging motion and watch your pets enthusiastic reaction! At first, most pets do not realize a human is activating it. A game of chase has never been this much fun! The toy is attached with a velcro strap and, therefore, is replaceable. The Chase-It collapses (telescopic) to 18″ and extends to about 48″.

Salmon Paws
Human-Grade Wild Salmon caught in the pristine waters of Alaska. Unlike many other salmon treats out on the market today, it is made from 100% Pure Salmon Meat with NO Bones, Fillers or other ingredients. Only the finest salmon is used to hand-make these premium pet treats. You can try it too! It makes an excellent training treat, because it brakes up easily into small pieces without crumbling.

And she also won:

A Pair of Jodhpurs!Designed specifically by Juno Belle Jodhpurs and fit exculsively for Darwin’s size.

Juno Belle Jodhpurs jodhpurs are low maintenance jodhpurs.No laundering and no pressing is required. Just floof, walk and be prepared for the compliments! 

And becuase I’m the boss and can change the rules of the contest, I’m announcing three runner-up winners who made me smile: 

1. The Bougalou Bear from Say What?  Oh my dog, that guess still has me smiling!
2. Dozer & Dotti of also Say What  because lingere in those colors, well, only clowns could get turned on by that.
3. Mack of Mack’s Mess, because he guessed “moving” first, but not the full news. Also because he really seems sad about missing panytloons and jodhpurs, and I’d like to give him a Christmas wish.

Each of you will receive a pouch of Salmon Paws from Blue Planet Dog and a free pair of Juno Belle Jodhpurs jodhpurs.  Please email me at info at wilddingo.com your shipping address and include a photo of your derrière  (that’s French for butt), so I can size them for you!

All of you made me laugh this week. And for those who guessed another puppy or a Swiss mountain dog puppy, you’d have to be crazy to think I’d get myself another dog. I have enough gray hairs. Anyone with more than two dogs in my book is officially whack-a-doo (but my kind of whack-a-doo).   Thank you so much for playing! I’m so glad I can take you with me to Europe via cyberspace!

“We had absolutlely nothing to do with this.  And if you ask one more question, we’re calling our lawyer.”

How lucky am I to have a brother (who’s not really a “dog” person)  fly down from Seattle to dog sit my two monsters, err… lovely canines while I took a visit to the East Coast for Mr. Wild Dingo’s ancient reunion at Annapolis and a visit to my parental units?  Sure, I cajoled and bribed him with free yoga classes, a full tank of gas in the convertible mini cooper, museum tickets, a stocked fridge and a gift certificate to Nicks in Los Gatos. But seriously, who would fly across 2 states just to dog sit?  AND on top of it, post a few blogs about them while I’m away?

I’m thinking he:

1. is an awesome person to do such a rediculous favor
2. really wanted to do yoga for free
3. was sick to death of me begging him
4. secretly liked my dogs
5. figured he’d put this favor in the bank for when he needs something rediculous from me

So, TravelMarc came down for eight days, and TravelMark came along for 3 or 4. TravelMarc endured a wildfire only 8 miles away, a wind storm, power outages and a fallen tree. He insisted that Loki & Juno were the best behaved dogs he ever dog sat. Wow! Now that’s some honor! Wait a minute… just how many dogs has he ever dog sat anyway??And seriously, how gullible does TravelMarc have to be to believe the Sibe who claimed the bunnies stole his shoe, not once but twice? Seriously TravelMarc. These dogs=not good!

The worst part of the TravelMarx’s generosity? They left a meatloaf in the fridge for us when we got home. Rats. Now I’m really in the hole!

We didn’t take many photos in Annapolis. That’s mostly because we were, errr… incapacitated a lot.

Is it me, or is this bench happy to see me?

The B&B we stayed in in CT.

Part of the back yard at our B&B. There’s something dreadfully wrong with this photo. There are no dogs running amuck this grand green yard!

Must keep photo away from dogs or I will pay dearly for not taking them with us. It’s good to be back. We’ll catch up with all the cyber-dog-pals shortly.

Where is she? Tell us or else.

Juno guarding Loki.

Wicket pickets!

“We’ll just stay right here in ‘our’ office, and stay out of trouble, until you get back mom…”

Ya, right. Um, TravelMarx? A bit of advice. Hide your shoes.

Wild Dingo.NET has left the .COM building.   Having a Web site business with a personal blog about dogs and yoga is all too confusing for some folks. I knew some day that .NET domain name would come in handy! And so it has. If you’re looking for Web site services, you’ll find “most” of my portfolio (ya, ya, ya… I have to update that antique of a portfolio I have up there now listing my sites) and service info over at Wild Dingo.NET. 

As for Wild Dingo.Com? Well, my life has literally become the Damien Rice song “Dogs.”  I’m so not complaining. Dogs + yoga=bliss. But how weird is it that I do yoga and I have a “wolf (the husky) to keep me warm?”  And so that’s what this domain will be. Loki and Juno are pretty happy with that!

If you have any success stories about a dog or dogs you’ve rescued, formosan mountain dogs or huskies, please write in and share them with me! I have plenty who have been writing in with silly and fun stories that I plan to share online soon! Stay tuned.

So far this is all I have is this:

Do you think I can find investors with a plan like this?

It’s hardly ready. I have so many plans for it, but want to get it launched to the public anyway.

It’s Wild Dingo’s serious side. No room for shenanigans on Upward Facing Dog. No sir! Ok, maybe a few. But hopefully, you’ll find the content of interest.

I shook my head in disbelief. Someone wants to hire me to criticize their web site? You mean, they want to hire me to be…mean? Surely this can’t be. Being mean is one of my favorite things to do. I like being mean so much that I even married a mean guy. No, he’s not wife-beater mean. He’s mean like, “Jules, your mouth RPM’s are going faster than your pedaling-RPMs” mean. Or mean like, he tries to make me give him my heart rate monitor when I’m riding my bike to make sure I’m working hard enough. And mean like, when he sees a neighbor with trash decorating his front yard, he’ll comment so sarcastically, that I can’t help but gush with love.

Yes, it’s true. I like mean people. And I like being mean. But mostly, I like being mean about ridiculous stuff like poor marketing, bad products, bad advice, bad ideas, bad design and bad taste. And the list goes on. This is probably why I bonded so well with the dingo. She wasn’t a “nice” dog at all. No, in fact, she was a bit mean.  When I first met her, she ate my underwear. But they were an ugly pair of underwear, so she was justified. Yes, we understood each other quite well. Our tolerance for idiocracy was equally matched which made us a nice pair. 

Even one of my peers in my yoga teacher training program called me “sadistic.” I took it as a compliment. It makes you want to come to one of my classes, huh? Secretly, you’re dying to know just how mean I am in a yoga class.

Once I worked for a company that didn’t treat its customers very well. Our marketing department had to design holiday cards for the customers. My idea was to write “Happy Holidays” on the cover, and “you son of a b—ch,” on the inside. That idea didn’t go over too well. Although the V.P. found it so humorous, he shared it with his wife, who would later send me Christmas cards that said exactly that!

I get a lot of clients who tell me their customers have difficulty logging in. The problem is usually user-error. So sometimes when I’m designing a web site that features “login” functions, I secretly want to write in the re-direct page, “Whoops! You moron! You didn’t type your username or password correctly.  Go back to high school and learn to type. Then come back here and try again.”  Needless to say, this never goes over well. Still, it can’t hurt to fantasize.

But when I was being hired to be mean, well, I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. Sigh. Once in a while, the universe throws me a delectable bone, just like this. And I savor every bit of it.

Of course I had to balance all my criticisms with some useful constructive feedback of better ways to design, marketing and develop content. You can’t exactly be taken seriously if you don’t have better alternatives to present. Still, I delighted in being mean, err …being a critic and getting paid for it so much that I’m considering adding “constructive critic” under my list of services. But perhaps I should discount it. It doesn’t seem right to make too much money having that much fun.