When Mr. Wild Dingo approaches, all she offers him are groans, moans and huffs. It’s a good thing he doesn’t take it personally. Because he sure loves making her miserable!

“Oh crud. Here he goes again with the hugging thing. My jodhpurs will have to be re-floofed again!”

When Juno first came to live with us, she actually liked Mr. Wild Dingo. We don’t know what happened. Maybe the day we moved furniture and it scared her so bad, she ran into a wall. We don’t know. But some time a few months after she came to live with us, she decided Mr. Wild Dingo was evil. No amount of food or her favorite one-on-one trail runs could convince her otherwise. So he took her to training. That was the one thing that got them bonded closer. And it worked–mostly. She’s so much happier around him and will come when she’s called, she’ll kiss him and wag at him. But she still enjoys playing the misery card.

“How’s my pout? Do I need more sad eyes? Should I give out a groan?”

They have their own secret little game. Mr. Wild Dingo approaches Juno, she runs away to a corner, he follows her and then showers her with affection while she acts shy, snobby or disgruntled.

Wait a minute! This sounds and exactly like the recall they teach in training but in the wrong direction. The person is supposed to run away and the dog is supposed to run to the person! Not the other way around!

Sigh. It’s obvious Juno paid attention in school more than Mr. Wild Dingo did. She taught Mr. Wild Dingo the recall command quite well!  She has him wrapped right around her paw. All she has to do is pout.

“Pop, we’re in the kitchen. This means, you must dispense of the foodables if you are to enjoy my misery.”

And people say Sibes can’t be trained. Ha!  They can be trained alright. They can be trained to train you!

Sigh. That damn Sibe.

Hmmm… that looks vaguely familiar.

I wonder if Mr. Wild Dingo brought home this new garden art piece, “The Headless Husky?”

“Did someone call me?”

“Retardo, I’m so gonna send you on a deep six holiday.”
“But, I was just doing my job! You know, Search and Rescue a Husky!”

“Like it’s a crime to be happy?” 

Siberian Husky owners, you may want to avert your eyes. Because what you’re about to see may give you nightmares and is so horrific it isn’t shown on TV. It may raise your blood pressure or even cause heart failure.  What you are about to see is shocking, frightening and down right against the laws of nature. Don’t say I didn’t warn you for:

Siberian Off-Leash!  

“Hey Retardo! Take notes and watch a real athlete. I am Husky. Catch me if you can!”

And it gets worse! It’s in an unfenced area!  Dare I show you again?

“Get ready to ruuuummmble!”

And, Gasp! AGAIN!

“Oh the things I can do without my leash!”

Yes, it’s true. Loki and Juno and I go walking at the nearby 100+ acre Christmas Tree farm (available to the locals to walk their dogs, on or off-leash) almost every day. But sadly, I am now old and developed a foot pain and for now can’t walk fast enough to keep up with a Siberian who needs real exercise. So I’ve taken up the habit of releasing the leashes for the farm. But never fear. I’ve put two solid years into training my sibe. And in those two years, trainers have bestowed many accolades on Juno, astonished for her work in obedience. Surely it must come in handy, right?

For the record, Mr. Wild Dingo is not happy about my crazy, logical notions.  I mean, my Siberian knows her name. My Siberian sits and downs when she’s told. And most importantly of all, my Siberian, comes when she’s called!

“Hey Mom, didn’t you just like call Juno like 87 times now? You want me to go bring her back by the neck?”

No Loki, she’s coming, see?

“Oh hey mom, ya, um, I was in the middle of tinkling when you called.”

Oh, well ok, because our trainers always told us the “tinkle/poo card”  always gets them a free pass. So no laws broken yet.

“Hey Principessa! Don’t go so fast. It’s always best to stick  next to the food resources.”
“Stuff it Big Boy, there’s squirrel over there with my name on it.”

 ”Ah, the sweet smell of freedom! I’ll be back!” (Or not.)

Just so we’re clear, Internet, it’s not like I just walk into the farm and release the evil dynamic duo and tell them to check me later. Before they go anywhere, we practice a few sets of recalls from a short distance to help them remember what the word “come”  means. As you can see below, Juno is on her way back ready to receive her chicken for the effort of returning back to me.

 ”Lady, this better be a whole lot better than that bunch of chickadees I had my eye on!”

Internet, I swear, my Siberian has got a wonderful recall. But something must have happened in this case when I called both dogs. Yes, that spot down there is Juno:

Truly, I think I need to get her hearing checked. After all, this was a long way away from me. She never does this at home or on the training field!

And you really can’t expect her to come when she’s making new friends on the trail:

“Hey shorty. That sweater totally makes you look  like a pansy.”

Even Loki sometimes forgets his name when there’s a chi-wow-wow around. He’s ga-ga for chi’s and here prefers to hang out with his new pal and her mom:

“So little lady, that sweater is so becoming on  you. Do you have a date for the prom?”
“Are you some kind of weirdo? Like I just met you. Mom, get rid of this dude, will ya?”

Thank dog for Loki’s awesome recall because in a pinch, he and I hide in the trees on her and don’t say a word so she panics and comes to find us. Or sometimes we try to trick her and tell her we’re leaving without her. That one always gets her to come with us.

“Mom, you know what they say when you cry ‘wolf’, right?”

Well, that works for me, because she is a descendent of a wolf, right?

And sometimes, she just comes to me because, well, I admit, I don’t exactly know why she comes. Probably the chicken.  

 ”Oh hey mom, what’s taking you so long climbing up that steep slope? Can’t you see we’re starving here?”

But seriously, her recall got us into trouble once with a fella and his very nice off-leash labrador. The lab didn’t mind her but the fella just didn’t want her around. Loki recalled out out of it, but Juno, thankfully not dog-naughty, just hung around them about 5 feet away from them sniffing the ground “innocently” while forgeting her name as I called it. Once again, Loki saved the day and she eventually came when he and I ran away from her. Sigh. Needless to say, sometimes Juno does not have total recall of the word “come.” Either that, or her brain virtually travels to Mars any time I call her at the tree farm.

So let’s do the math: 

(Loki’s 98% recall + Juno’s 2% recall) x Juno’s strong pack drive = 1 Total Recall

Two dogs for 1 Recall. Hmmm. Is that a bargain or a rip-off?

“Math, schmath. Got any chicken?” 

“I’m juuuusssst lookin’.”

For the record (and this is for The Herd and a certain someone at The Herd Annex), Juno only counter-surfed once early on in living with us. It took one big “No!” to never have her attempt it again. Well, at least when I’m in the house.

Seriously. Why should I be surprised? After all, she also ate my Mini-Cooper.

This time, I put my shoes away AND hid the trash can. I left my important identity file folder out on top of my desk because I need to renew my passport. She helped herself to the folder. When I got home, it looked like a thief ransacked my office and mud room. Folder mutilated, marriage certificate, crumpled. Guess she doesn’t think highly of my marriage to Mr. Wild Dingo.  And the passport? Well, lets just say its a good thing its up for renewal. Thankfully she left my very old and delicate birth certificate untouched. 

Do  you wonder why Siberians have “masks?” Because they are all criminals. And Mr. Wild Dingo and I are harboring one.  I have a sneaking suspicion she’s trying to make a fake ID to get into club Siberian 54.

“Unfortunately, this does not taste like chicken.”

Um, unfortunate for who, you furry felon?

For the record, my dingo, never ate passports, Mini-Coopers, shoes, mail or babies. I’m beginning to think that famous story had an unknown husky in it.

“What? I think I improved it.”

I have no idea how I’m going to tell the passport clerk, “the husky ate my passport” with a straight face. He’s totally going to stamp a big F on my passport renewal form and send me home with a note to my mother.

Damn Sibe.

Juno’s in the hospital. Since Thursday she’s had a fever of 104. Thinking it was viral or mild flu, the vet had given her anti-inflamatory to bring down the fever. On Saturday, I had to bring her in as it was not returning to normal and she was not walking well. She ran blood tests right there and all her functions and blood tests were normal and the first tick panels came back negative. They sent the bloodwork out for other tick panels. My vet then put her on fluids for a few hours and she came home with me on Saturday evening. She also gave her Doxycycline just in case it was tick disease as it was an antibiotic and couldn’t hurt even if it wasn’t tick disease, while we waited for results. Today, Sunday, her fever shot up to 105.7, despite efforts to bring it down with fluids and cold compresses to belly, armpits and feet pads.  So I took her to the E.R. There it shot up to 106.1. They can’t find the source of infection yet, though they are running more blood tests and now ultrasounds and urine tests. She’s eating still. She ate tons of chicken soaked in broth today. So there’s no concern with her G.I. Her x-rays show something “mild” that “could” (or could not) be pneumonia.  We’ll know more when a specialist reviews. But gosh, it’s frustrating not knowing what the cause is.

It’s so unnatural for her to be so lethargic. She still wagged her tail at me, but she usually jumps up and acts enthusiastically crazy every day to celebrate her happiness. Her winter jodhpurs have filled out and though she’s only in the hospital over night, I miss running my hands through them. I was going to do another post about the TravelMarx visit because they took such awesome photos while visiting, but I’ll save it for later this week and instead, I’ll just share a few of the black and whites they took of Juno.

“Uncle Marc, is that hot dog for moi? Awe shucks, you shouldn’t have. But since you did…”

“So are you, or are you NOT going to give me that hot dog? ‘Cuz you’ve got about 3 seconds and if you don’t pay up, I’m outta here.”

“Duh, I know I’m gorgeous. My secret? My gumdrop nose and my jodhpurs.”

“Where the hell are the hot dogs? Can’t you see I’m sittin’ already? I want Mr. Wild Dingo back–NOW!”

On another note, Juno Belle Jodhpurs is down with a flu. She got lethargic yesterday and today our PAWESOME vet, Dr. Hilary Wheeler, read her temperature at 104 degrees! She got an non-steroidal anti-inflamatory to bring down her temp and is ordered to drink lots of chicken broth throughout the day. Poor baby is achey and sad. No walks, training or playing for several days.  And Loki, the insensitive NitWit,  keeps trying to pounce and punk on her to get her to play. Sigh. I don’t care what Mr. Wild Dingo says, Juno is the real alpha for handling the NitWit as gracefully as she does, even when she’s under the weather.  

She’s a lady, for sure. But she did have frijoles for dinner last night. I’m just sayin…

“Um, seriously mom, your taste in shoes needs to change, and fast.” 

Just what I need. A Siberian with fashion sense.