They’re an unlikely pair. Juno and Mr. Wild Dingo. He prefers goofy, gruff, manly dogs and she prefers me. But every Sunday, the one day per week the four of us are together,  she’s his and he’s hers for the day. The ritual of taking her leash each Sunday has bonded them in ways beyond my imagination.

The other night, he called her up on the sofa for a snuggle. A snuggly dog she is not. But she stayed. For a long time. And her face revealed complete and utter bliss.

Yesterday morning,  she woke me up, tapping the hard floor in the bedroom with her paws, letting out a small cry. A signal that she wanted to explore the events outside the bedroom door. We were alone in the room. I got up to open the door, but it was open already. She could have easily left at her own will. I heard Mr. Wild Dingo’s voice below, sweetly talking to Loki. Loki responded with soft groans of delight.  I told her to go out if she wanted to and went back to bed. Yet, she never left the room. Later Mr. Wild Dingo entered the room and knelt down to snuggle with her. She let out a loud groan and growled deeply.

He was taken aback. ”Why is she suddenly growling again,” he asked.

“You cheated on her,” I told him. “And she knows it.”

She’s come so far. Sometimes it’s hard to believe. We still have strong memories of her growling and running away from Mr. Wild Dingo and insisting on her aloof ways. She still growls from time to time at him, sulking because Mr. Wild Dingo may have given Loki attention before giving it to her, or gave him more attention. You have to live with her to really understand her growling patterns stem from jealousy.

Sometimes in the early weekday mornings while I sleep in, Mr. Wild Dingo will have his breakfast in office and Juno will catch the pastry scent and get out of bed to join him, expecting a bite of her own. On other mornings, when she knows there’s no pastry, she’ll sleep in.  But a few mornings ago, Loki got up with Mr. Wild Dingo and though he didn’t have any pastry or food, Juno could not handle her man giving more attention to the cracker than to her. She got out of bed that day, not for pastry, but to ask for love.

But don’t point that out to her. She’ll just deny it.

The fluff makes a nice pillow. And you never have to vacuum your house again. Because why bother?

“I’m so documenting this in my memoires of the abuse and traumas I’m subjected to.”

One of the nice things about Siberians is that they rarely need baths. They just never get dirty or if they do, the mud and dirt sort of just falls off them. Not having to bathe Juno too much makes up for the twice annual coat blowing and the never-ending army of Siberian dust bunnies collecting on the floors. Usually twice per year I give them both a bath. Even Loki doesn’t need much bathing. He stays pretty clean too. Lately, we’ve been going for lots of off-leash forest walks where they plow through some muddy, stinky areas of the river banks. And Juno actually stunk.

So Saturday night’s fun activity was bath night. Oh yeah. You can see how exciting life in Europe has been. Well, at least for the dogs.

Loki took his bath like a man, reluctant, but quiet. Juno? Her protests and dramatic cries for help could be heard throughout the neighborhood. The autobiography, “Siberian on the Edge: Bullied by a Formosan and Bathed by a Human,” is due to hit bookstores this spring.

Someone in this house is still on California time. I’m not naming names, but it seems someone thinks winter is over and spring is here. Even though I dress like the Michelin man in this miserably cold climate myself and the other is forced to wear a fleece coat.  This photo being the last of a 3-day brushing of the first blow of the year. 

Is she an optimist or just confused?

NB: those of you who say “that’s a lot of fur,” in the comments below, you crack me up. Let me add that this is only the last little bit. I brushed her 2 other days and filled the entire foyer twice and emptied the Dyson 6 times (it doesn’t suck it all up in one swoop). I’m not lying. Really.

When Mr. Wild Dingo approaches, all she offers him are groans, moans and huffs. It’s a good thing he doesn’t take it personally. Because he sure loves making her miserable!

“Oh crud. Here he goes again with the hugging thing. My jodhpurs will have to be re-floofed again!”

When Juno first came to live with us, she actually liked Mr. Wild Dingo. We don’t know what happened. Maybe the day we moved furniture and it scared her so bad, she ran into a wall. We don’t know. But some time a few months after she came to live with us, she decided Mr. Wild Dingo was evil. No amount of food or her favorite one-on-one trail runs could convince her otherwise. So he took her to training. That was the one thing that got them bonded closer. And it worked–mostly. She’s so much happier around him and will come when she’s called, she’ll kiss him and wag at him. But she still enjoys playing the misery card.

“How’s my pout? Do I need more sad eyes? Should I give out a groan?”

They have their own secret little game. Mr. Wild Dingo approaches Juno, she runs away to a corner, he follows her and then showers her with affection while she acts shy, snobby or disgruntled.

Wait a minute! This sounds and exactly like the recall they teach in training but in the wrong direction. The person is supposed to run away and the dog is supposed to run to the person! Not the other way around!

Sigh. It’s obvious Juno paid attention in school more than Mr. Wild Dingo did. She taught Mr. Wild Dingo the recall command quite well!  She has him wrapped right around her paw. All she has to do is pout.

“Pop, we’re in the kitchen. This means, you must dispense of the foodables if you are to enjoy my misery.”

And people say Sibes can’t be trained. Ha!  They can be trained alright. They can be trained to train you!

Sigh. That damn Sibe.

Hmmm… that looks vaguely familiar.

I wonder if Mr. Wild Dingo brought home this new garden art piece, “The Headless Husky?”

“Did someone call me?”

“Retardo, I’m so gonna send you on a deep six holiday.”
“But, I was just doing my job! You know, Search and Rescue a Husky!”

“Like it’s a crime to be happy?” 

Siberian Husky owners, you may want to avert your eyes. Because what you’re about to see may give you nightmares and is so horrific it isn’t shown on TV. It may raise your blood pressure or even cause heart failure.  What you are about to see is shocking, frightening and down right against the laws of nature. Don’t say I didn’t warn you for:

Siberian Off-Leash!  

“Hey Retardo! Take notes and watch a real athlete. I am Husky. Catch me if you can!”

And it gets worse! It’s in an unfenced area!  Dare I show you again?

“Get ready to ruuuummmble!”

And, Gasp! AGAIN!

“Oh the things I can do without my leash!”

Yes, it’s true. Loki and Juno and I go walking at the nearby 100+ acre Christmas Tree farm (available to the locals to walk their dogs, on or off-leash) almost every day. But sadly, I am now old and developed a foot pain and for now can’t walk fast enough to keep up with a Siberian who needs real exercise. So I’ve taken up the habit of releasing the leashes for the farm. But never fear. I’ve put two solid years into training my sibe. And in those two years, trainers have bestowed many accolades on Juno, astonished for her work in obedience. Surely it must come in handy, right?

For the record, Mr. Wild Dingo is not happy about my crazy, logical notions.  I mean, my Siberian knows her name. My Siberian sits and downs when she’s told. And most importantly of all, my Siberian, comes when she’s called!

“Hey Mom, didn’t you just like call Juno like 87 times now? You want me to go bring her back by the neck?”

No Loki, she’s coming, see?

“Oh hey mom, ya, um, I was in the middle of tinkling when you called.”

Oh, well ok, because our trainers always told us the “tinkle/poo card”  always gets them a free pass. So no laws broken yet.

“Hey Principessa! Don’t go so fast. It’s always best to stick  next to the food resources.”
“Stuff it Big Boy, there’s squirrel over there with my name on it.”

 ”Ah, the sweet smell of freedom! I’ll be back!” (Or not.)

Just so we’re clear, Internet, it’s not like I just walk into the farm and release the evil dynamic duo and tell them to check me later. Before they go anywhere, we practice a few sets of recalls from a short distance to help them remember what the word “come”  means. As you can see below, Juno is on her way back ready to receive her chicken for the effort of returning back to me.

 ”Lady, this better be a whole lot better than that bunch of chickadees I had my eye on!”

Internet, I swear, my Siberian has got a wonderful recall. But something must have happened in this case when I called both dogs. Yes, that spot down there is Juno:

Truly, I think I need to get her hearing checked. After all, this was a long way away from me. She never does this at home or on the training field!

And you really can’t expect her to come when she’s making new friends on the trail:

“Hey shorty. That sweater totally makes you look  like a pansy.”

Even Loki sometimes forgets his name when there’s a chi-wow-wow around. He’s ga-ga for chi’s and here prefers to hang out with his new pal and her mom:

“So little lady, that sweater is so becoming on  you. Do you have a date for the prom?”
“Are you some kind of weirdo? Like I just met you. Mom, get rid of this dude, will ya?”

Thank dog for Loki’s awesome recall because in a pinch, he and I hide in the trees on her and don’t say a word so she panics and comes to find us. Or sometimes we try to trick her and tell her we’re leaving without her. That one always gets her to come with us.

“Mom, you know what they say when you cry ‘wolf’, right?”

Well, that works for me, because she is a descendent of a wolf, right?

And sometimes, she just comes to me because, well, I admit, I don’t exactly know why she comes. Probably the chicken.  

 ”Oh hey mom, what’s taking you so long climbing up that steep slope? Can’t you see we’re starving here?”

But seriously, her recall got us into trouble once with a fella and his very nice off-leash labrador. The lab didn’t mind her but the fella just didn’t want her around. Loki recalled out out of it, but Juno, thankfully not dog-naughty, just hung around them about 5 feet away from them sniffing the ground “innocently” while forgeting her name as I called it. Once again, Loki saved the day and she eventually came when he and I ran away from her. Sigh. Needless to say, sometimes Juno does not have total recall of the word “come.” Either that, or her brain virtually travels to Mars any time I call her at the tree farm.

So let’s do the math: 

(Loki’s 98% recall + Juno’s 2% recall) x Juno’s strong pack drive = 1 Total Recall

Two dogs for 1 Recall. Hmmm. Is that a bargain or a rip-off?

“Math, schmath. Got any chicken?” 

“I’m juuuusssst lookin’.”

For the record (and this is for The Herd and a certain someone at The Herd Annex), Juno only counter-surfed once early on in living with us. It took one big “No!” to never have her attempt it again. Well, at least when I’m in the house.

Seriously. Why should I be surprised? After all, she also ate my Mini-Cooper.

This time, I put my shoes away AND hid the trash can. I left my important identity file folder out on top of my desk because I need to renew my passport. She helped herself to the folder. When I got home, it looked like a thief ransacked my office and mud room. Folder mutilated, marriage certificate, crumpled. Guess she doesn’t think highly of my marriage to Mr. Wild Dingo.  And the passport? Well, lets just say its a good thing its up for renewal. Thankfully she left my very old and delicate birth certificate untouched. 

Do  you wonder why Siberians have “masks?” Because they are all criminals. And Mr. Wild Dingo and I are harboring one.  I have a sneaking suspicion she’s trying to make a fake ID to get into club Siberian 54.

“Unfortunately, this does not taste like chicken.”

Um, unfortunate for who, you furry felon?

For the record, my dingo, never ate passports, Mini-Coopers, shoes, mail or babies. I’m beginning to think that famous story had an unknown husky in it.

“What? I think I improved it.”

I have no idea how I’m going to tell the passport clerk, “the husky ate my passport” with a straight face. He’s totally going to stamp a big F on my passport renewal form and send me home with a note to my mother.

Damn Sibe.

Juno’s in the hospital. Since Thursday she’s had a fever of 104. Thinking it was viral or mild flu, the vet had given her anti-inflamatory to bring down the fever. On Saturday, I had to bring her in as it was not returning to normal and she was not walking well. She ran blood tests right there and all her functions and blood tests were normal and the first tick panels came back negative. They sent the bloodwork out for other tick panels. My vet then put her on fluids for a few hours and she came home with me on Saturday evening. She also gave her Doxycycline just in case it was tick disease as it was an antibiotic and couldn’t hurt even if it wasn’t tick disease, while we waited for results. Today, Sunday, her fever shot up to 105.7, despite efforts to bring it down with fluids and cold compresses to belly, armpits and feet pads.  So I took her to the E.R. There it shot up to 106.1. They can’t find the source of infection yet, though they are running more blood tests and now ultrasounds and urine tests. She’s eating still. She ate tons of chicken soaked in broth today. So there’s no concern with her G.I. Her x-rays show something “mild” that “could” (or could not) be pneumonia.  We’ll know more when a specialist reviews. But gosh, it’s frustrating not knowing what the cause is.

It’s so unnatural for her to be so lethargic. She still wagged her tail at me, but she usually jumps up and acts enthusiastically crazy every day to celebrate her happiness. Her winter jodhpurs have filled out and though she’s only in the hospital over night, I miss running my hands through them. I was going to do another post about the TravelMarx visit because they took such awesome photos while visiting, but I’ll save it for later this week and instead, I’ll just share a few of the black and whites they took of Juno.

“Uncle Marc, is that hot dog for moi? Awe shucks, you shouldn’t have. But since you did…”

“So are you, or are you NOT going to give me that hot dog? ‘Cuz you’ve got about 3 seconds and if you don’t pay up, I’m outta here.”

“Duh, I know I’m gorgeous. My secret? My gumdrop nose and my jodhpurs.”

“Where the hell are the hot dogs? Can’t you see I’m sittin’ already? I want Mr. Wild Dingo back–NOW!”

On another note, Juno Belle Jodhpurs is down with a flu. She got lethargic yesterday and today our PAWESOME vet, Dr. Hilary Wheeler, read her temperature at 104 degrees! She got an non-steroidal anti-inflamatory to bring down her temp and is ordered to drink lots of chicken broth throughout the day. Poor baby is achey and sad. No walks, training or playing for several days.  And Loki, the insensitive NitWit,  keeps trying to pounce and punk on her to get her to play. Sigh. I don’t care what Mr. Wild Dingo says, Juno is the real alpha for handling the NitWit as gracefully as she does, even when she’s under the weather.  

She’s a lady, for sure. But she did have frijoles for dinner last night. I’m just sayin…

“Um, seriously mom, your taste in shoes needs to change, and fast.” 

Just what I need. A Siberian with fashion sense.

Score:
Shoes: 0, Juno: 17

• Doesn’t Shed or Shed in Your Car
• Doesn’t Dig  
• Doesn’t Re-Dig your Filled Holes
• Doesn’t Destroy Gates or Fences
• Doesn’t Eat Shoes
• Doesn’t Destroy Cars
• Doesn’t Run Away
• Doesn’t Instigate Trouble
• Doesn’t Destroy Pillows When Not Invited to a Party
• Doesn’t Cost Anything to Feed
• Doesn’t Get up or Move when Asked to Stay for a Photo Shoot
• Doesn’t Require Food to Obey
• Doesn’t Escape
• Doesn’t Require Large ER Vet Bills
• Doesn’t Require Large Home Owners Policy

I donno. Call me crazy but I kinda prefer this one:

At least she has a sense of humor, can perform magic and is helpful around the house.

“I’m not so sure shaking the hula hoop is defined in the definition of “working dog.” Besides, it brings a little too much attention to my apple bottom booty.”

“Weee!” Juno scretchs to a hault and sits promptly in the show-down competition of hurdling an obstacle and recalling to the sit. She beats the border collie by minutes. Woo hoo! Huskies rule and Border Collies drool. But I’m not competitive. Nope, not at all.

“Shoooow me the hot dog!”

“You want me to do what? Sit next to him? Up here? How much will you pay me?”

“If I close my eyes really tight, this beach class will go away and I will be running free on the Isle of the Ill-Behaved!”

Sneak-peak at September’s masthead inspiration.

How this dog, who can sit politely and patiently wait for me, can be considered … err … actually be “naughty.”

Or how this dog is considered a “working” dog.

“Hey sleepyhead, sit up straight and at least look like you’re paying attention. The female bi-ped is watching us.”

“Pipe down jabber mouth. I was just in the middle of a great dream about a hunky malamute bringing me a meaty bone.”

Dearest Juno, so much has changed in the past year with us.

1. In the beginning, you tolerated Mr. Wild Dingo and didn’t fear him. Something changed. We never put our finger on it. We blamed a lot on Loki and worked to stop him from being so bossy to you,  but you continued to fear Mr. Wild Dingo tremedously. You left rooms when he walked in, left the house at night when we were in the living room. All of this causing our hearts to ache and made us wonder if you didn’t want to live with us and if we should find you a home where you’d be happier.
2. But we’re stubborn and would not give up simply because we didn’t understand you. So we tried a few tricks.  Mr. Wild Dingo fed you. A lot. In hopes of gaining your trust. In no time you went from 53 lbs to 67 lbs. You were no less fearful of Mr. Wild Dingo and instead you were overweight and had a set of cankles.
3. So he took you for walks, by yourself, to make you feel special. You love walks and runs. And Mr. Wild Dingo complied. He ran you and built up your confidence with praise. Still, you ran from him whenever he came home.
4. I took you through basic obedience and certified you in Therapy Dog service, hoping that would bring you out of your shell. You became friendly to strangers, but sadly not to Mr. Wild Dingo.
5. Finally Mr. Wild Dingo broke down and took you to obedience classes. You broke him in at his first beach class and made him like working with you. It’s pretty easy when you pulled out that “down to a roll over” trick with a big smile on your face. You won his heart enough to make him give up his Saturday bike rides to go train you in the Saturday morning obedience classes.
6. You embarrassed Mr. Wild Dingo every Saturday class by going to every location on the field but to him when he called you. You went to the gate, you went to Loki, you went to me, you went to other dogs and other people. But never to Mr. Wild Dingo. Over time, and through the power of the God “Oscar Mayer,” Mr. Wild Dingo won your confidence. Even when Loki whined at you from the sidelines you could ignore Loki and run into Mr. Wild Dingo’s arms knowing it was far better to listen to him than it was to listen to Loki.
7. You’ve become a silly, more social dog now, proving at parties you can be every bit the ham that Loki naturally is. People have remarked at how more confident you have become, especially since you now know your Juno Mind Trick will undoubtably win you delicious snacks.
   

   Juno Mind Trick: "Come to mamma!"

8. Though you seem more confident around the house, and you no longer extradite yourself from the pack, you continue to run from Mr. Wild Dingo when he comes home and it breaks his heart. It gives him no greater pleasure than to see you jump and dance around and wiggle when you’re happy, yet when he’s here, you put on your sullen face and retreat to a fortress of solitude. Things are changing and you are starting to play again with Loki while Mr. Wild Dingo watches. But you remain cautious, convinced that he is always on the verge of stealing your gumbdrop nose. The nose that holds all your super husky powers.

Here are the things we’ve learned about you.

1. You love long walks as a pack, not as an individual. You get more confident when Mr. Wild Dingo walks you with Loki rather than by yourself.
2. You love to be treated equally. Perhaps you don’t enjoy playing the same games a Loki (like his rough and tumble tug), but you love to be given the same amount of one on one time as Loki gets, whether its playing tricks for treats, or jumping over hurdles, as long as you’re treated equally to him, you feel better.
3. You love salad, and raisin toast.
   

   Every girl needs adequate fiber in her diet! Tomatoes are especially good for antioxidants and the complexion!

4. You’re not much of a cuddler, but don’t mind being forced to cuddle for a short while.
5. You need to be reminded every day of your basic obedience, especially your recall and your down-stay. If you are not reminded, it’s very easy for you to “forget” and resort back to what Huskies do best–ignore.
6. You love to play. But all huskies do. You like to play games.
7. You’re happiest in the morning. Damn it. How can I be grumpy around all that in the morning?
8. You don’t mind the furminator and enjoy being groomed.
9. You despise showers and will act as if being tortured when being bathed.
10. You actually like obedience classes with Mr. Wild Dingo.
11. You hate being excluded from things with  Loki. Even if it meant leaving Loki at a special over-night training camp.
12. You enjoy going to Home Depot.
13. You love gardening.
14. You hate being alone.
15. You use politics rather than brute force to get what you want.
16. You prefer to do the “low cal” platz (a slide from a sit to a down) rather than sitting when hanging around the home.
17. You prefer the nicknames: Jodphers, JunoBelle, June Bug, Gumbdrop Nose and Fluffinator. You do not like: Cankles or Fatsy. Neither of which fit anymore since you’ve lost 6 lbs. (Three more to go for your bikini figure!)

Happy Juno-versary Juno! You’re so special to us because you taught us a ”different” kind of challenge from the challenges we had with Loki and those before him.  Challenges that we had no idea if we could live with or overcome. They were the kind that take patience and perseverence. And slowly you’re proving to us that you’re on your way to getting over those hurdles. That you’re worth the investment in time it takes to learn what you really need to help you through those challenges. You are the first dog we’ve ever had that wasn’t boisterous and obnoxious, but instead overly shy and fearful.

June Bug, you’ve made huge leaps this year and made us proud over and over again.  At least now you don’t growl at Mr. Wild Dingo anymore. 

Happy Anniversary. No matter WHAT Loki tells you, you light up our lives!

The BBQ aroma is much too alluring to the husky, and she approaches while eyeing the threat from Mr. Wild Dingo’s plan to steal her gumbdrop nose.

 ”Hmmm… that looks inviting. I wonder if there will be one or two pieces they will forget to eat?”

 The husky closes her eyes tightly to make her anniversary wish. “I wish, I wish that tri-tip will find it’s way onto my plate and into my Belllleeyyyy!”

 A Husky’s impression of “Kilroy Waz Here”

 ”Hey pop, I’ll take my tri-tip rare, with a side of salad!”

“Yum..Lots of delicious salad too!”

Check out the rude boy to the right, taking advantage of Mr. Wild Dingo’s back ache, breaking his “wait” command, digging in before the plate hit the floor. Bad boy knows better and Juno shows him up in being much more polite by waiting to eat.

 ”The salad is good, but could use a little more ranch dresssing next time. Thank you. Thank you very much.”

“I ate most of my veggies, can I get more tri-tip? Or how about dessert?”

 Juno moves in on the rest of Loki’s uneaten salad. “And that silly boy wonders why he’s backed up now and then…”

 ”Just two more pieces of spinach and then I’ll be ready for dessert, mom.”
I have to admit, It’s nice to have an automatic mop for your floors.

 Happy Juno-versary to You! Happy Juno-versary, to YOU! Haaaappppy Junoooo-veeerrrsary, dear….um….Juuuunoooo. HAPPY Juno-versary, tooooo Yoooouuuu!

“Awee…shucks…you shouldn’t have…but I’m glad you did!”

 ”I’d like to thank my manager, my make up artist, my hair stylist, my coach, my fitness trainer, …oh wait, wrong speech…”

Juno makes a wish, blows out the candles and in one gulp has her cake and eats it too.